Monday, December 14, 2009


I was lying in bed, my back to FP, breathing in the scent of the freshly changed sheets. He wrapped his arms around me, forming a cocoon of welcome warmth that only sharing body heat on a freezing cold night in a draughty, old apartment in Versailles when the heating hasn't been on all day can create.

"You know when I changed the bedsheets earlier?" FP said into the darkness.

"Mmm?" I rolled over sleepily to face him.

"Well guess how many socks I found amongst the bedsheets..."

I smiled. Everytime we change the bedding we find a ridiculous amount of discarded socks in there. It's a particularly annoying habit I've had since I was young.

You see, in my opinion, one of the world's most under-rated, never talked about but should be, facts is that it feels so, so, so damn good to take your socks off in bed. I love to wait until my feet have warmed up, maybe even to allow them to become slightly clammy, and then to take my socks off and feel the cool bedsheets with my newly naked feet. Everything feels so much better. De-socking my feet in bed hightens my senses and makes me feel as though my feet have taken little miniature E's. Feet Ecstasy. The hardcore drug for feet. The sheets are smoother, the cotton softer, the temperature fresher, the senses sharper. It's like taking off your sunglasses and looking at the world in neon brights. Your socks are the buffers between your feet and the world and to escape from them feels amazing like how I would imagine a prisoner feels after being set free from jail when he's been accused of doing something he didn't do and then given a royal pardon.

The fact that I allow my discarded socks to accumulate beneath the sheets rather than kick them out of the bed is, quite simply, due to laziness.

"Go on," FP nudged me. "Guess how many socks I found."

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Last time I found three pairs..."

"13." FP replied.


"I found 13 socks in our bed. Five pairs and three without partners."

"That's impressive! I don't think I've ever reached that amount before. That's a lot of de-socking!"

"Yeah," my boyfriend sighed. "Just out of curiosity, has anyone ever told you how strange you are?"

"No." I lied as I peeled off my socks and smiled. "No one ever has."


T.D. Newton said...

Hahaha nice.

My policy is that if I'm not wearing shoes, I'm not wearing socks. Especially not to bed. Not to sound gross/weird, but I have hair on my feet, and it is very upset if I wear socks to bed. I have Hobbit feet, according to Micah, and if I'm lazy enough to leave socks on when I get into bed you can bet they'll still be there when I wake up. Ouch.

Kristan said...

Hehe, cute!

I only wear socks to bed if it's really cold, so I'm unlikely to "de-sock". But I DO love the feeling of cool sheets against my feet (if it's not already freezing outside).

Anonymous said...

I find socks in my bed too! On cold nights I wear socks to bed but feel like my feet are suffocating after awhile and I discard them. Sometimes I shove them out the side and onto the floor but most of the time they creep further and further to the end of the bed. It's only when I find non-paired socks in the wash or change my sheets that I discover where all the missing socks are!

Princesse Ecossaise said...

TD Hobbit Feet!! I have a new nickname for you!

Kristan I feel very reassured! Although you don't de-sock, you do know what I mean when I talk about the delights that is feeling the cool sheets against naked feet. It's not just me then...phew!

Yes Kiwi!!! It's exactly like the socks begin to suffocate the feet and then you need to let them free from their prison! That's exactly what it is! I'm glad to see that you are also a de-socker!! :-D

Micah D.L. said...

I almost ALWAYS have socks on in bed...I love wearing socks to bed! But I don't kick them off...I'm perpetually chilled so it's best that I just keep them on. Socks are among some of my favorite things to wear...mmmm....

Lacey said...

I came across your blog on fuelmyblog, and I am so glad I did! I absolutely love it!

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Micah I heart socks! There should be a socks in bed appreciation society!

Lacey hiya! I'm so glad you like my blog! Yay!

Léa said...

I go to bed with my socks too when it's cold, but they don't stay under the sheets 'cause I throw them on the floor !

P said...

This post totally made me smile. And it made me realise, on the rare occasion when I WEAR socks (I made it til mid December in Glasgow this year with ballet pumps and no socks, can you believe it?) I totally do this too! I hadn't even realised before!

Hope you've had a fabulous holiday season!

Alice said...

Just came across your blog; very amusing.

I do this; but as well as having socks in the sheets I sometimes fling them to the floor instead; so I end up with little sock piles round the bed. And the rest of the room.

On second inspection, this may be more serious than I originally thought.