I opened the French doors that lead to our small balcony and motioned for my friend Sava to follow as I stepped into the fresh evening air. She placed her glass of sparkling white wine on the iron bistro table, pulled out a pack of 20 Marlboro and lit up. I put my glass next to hers and folded my arms across my chest in the hope of keeping warm.
I'd invited Sava and her husband over for a dinner party and while the men were inside having their beer and trying to fix a broken laptop, I'd accompanied my new Iranian friend outside while she had a smoke. We were mid- girly conversation when Sava gasped and pointed her finger at the apartments across the road.
"Oh my God, look!" She cried loudly, forgetting we were outside and could be heard by neighbours.
I followed her outstretched finger and my jaw dropped open. In the well-lit window of the top apartment directly across from our balcony was a very naked man, walking around his living room, a phone attached to his ear. Sava and I exchanged disbelieving looks before we both burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"Is he for real?!" Sava asked when we had regained our composure again. "Am I dreaming?"
Peeping from behind my hands which were covering my face as a reaction to the shock, I stole another glance at the man. There he was, this normal looking man in his 40's, slightly overweight and balding, walking around in his living room in front of the window with the light on, talking on his phone. Except he was fully naked. His private parts were so obvious that they may as well have had big freaking bells on them. He was just letting it all hang loose, for anyone to see. Walking around, dangling to and fro. Just chillin', hangin' out, havin' a Bud. Literally.
"Well let's see," I said, taking a sip from my glass of wine. "Is that the kind of man you normally see in your dreams?"
We looked towards the window again where we saw the man bend right over and pick up a towel from the floor, wrapping it around his waist where it should have been all along. The towel appeared to be pink.and.flowery.
Sava's eyes opened wide and she shook her head. "No," she said firmly. "Definitley not."
When we went back inside and excitedly told the men what we had seen, neither of them believed us. They rolled their eyes and looked at us disdainfully, as though we were children telling tall tales and after an evening of intermittent "No, seriously, it's true"s and "yeah, riiiight" we never convinced them we were actually telling the truth.
Until this evening, when - after peeking through the curtains for the past few evenings, just in case - Naked Man was back in his full glory, swinging this way, that way, forwards and backwards and I finally managed to prove to FP that it wasn't just our 'tipsy' imaginations playing tricks on us.
Oh how sweet it is to be proven right!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009