Sunday, December 21, 2008

Un Dîner de Cons

It's extremely difficult to use your knife and fork to cut up your meat when you are sandwiched between two very wide, burly old men who don't think twice about invading your personal space with their elbows. I tried hard to minimise my body size, to make myself much narrower than I am, in the attempt to have more room to manouever my own arms, but to no avail.

At dinner parties I am very often placed right next to the pervert or the loudmouth or the woman with the extremely huge hat that has feathers which poke you in the eye. Yesterday I was sat between two large strangers - the hostess wanted us to 'mingle' - one a very tall preist, the other a loudmouth know-it-all. Just my luck.

Despite the mingling being forced upon us all, the guests were a little quiet and all the mingling I was able to do was with the two burly elbows narrowly missing my eyes from both sides.

FP, who had been placed opposite me, was telling the lady next to him that he and I are leaving to go to Scotland tomorrow for the holidays, when the know-it-all next to me interrupted him.

"I've been to Scotland." He exclaimed. Suddenly my interest was sparked - I rarely come across a French person who has been to my country.

"Really?" I asked. "Where abouts exactly?"



What a smegging eejit.


Lis of the North said...

Dublin. I love it. Hope the food was decent at least?
So you back in Bonnie Scotland now my wee chicken? Is FP with you? We got back to Embra this afternoon. Nice to be home. Have a Happy Christmas. xx

Loth said...

Welcome home! Stock up on tablet, white puddings and plain bread while you can!

T.D. Newton said...


Sounds like something one of us Americans would say.