I wouldn't say I was a dumb blonde - not atall (although I'm not a brain box either), but I do seem to have a slight problem concerning the connection of my brain and my mouth which makes me appear rather bimbo-ish sometimes. Okay, often. Okay, very often.
Today at work I was hanging around the coffee machine, as you do, with a group of colleagues and friends and I suddenly realised we were all in the middle of some kind of random pop quiz. (Before I go any further, did I need to add the word 'random' in there, or does the term 'pop quiz' already imply that it is indeed random, in which case I may have just as well said 'a random random quiz'? Also, is the word 'random' beginning to look like it's not a word at all, or is that just me?)
You see that's the thing about living in a foreign country while you still don't speak the language fluently. You can zone out so easily and tune in thirty minutes later and be completely taken aback because
a) somehow the topic of convo went from the effects of trade deficits on economies to why a crépe is not a crépe unless it's round
b) you have been standing there silently zoned out for the past half hour, mulling over what you fancy for dinner and no one seems to have noticed.
Anyway I tuned back into the conversation only to realise that there was some kind of pop quiz taking place and I was being asked a question. "Leensey, this one's for you," the nice man with the stylish glasses but who's name I can't remember because it consists only of vowels said, jabbing a finger in my upper arm. "I have a dream...who famously said this?"
Five french faces turned expectantly towards me and I grinned because I knew the answer. I knew I knew the answer. I did, I just couldn't quite remember his name. And then before I knew what was happening, the words had rolled off my tongue.
"Charles Manson!" I squealed, raising my own finger and jabbing Mr Stylish Specs back.
For a moment there was silence. A horrible, painful silence. And then they began to laugh. Oh how they did laugh, my friends. Big mocking belly laughs. Someone even patted me on the head and said "ah, a true blonde"! I mean really! Morto! Absolutely morto.
"Uhhh," I stuttered, "oh mince! Je suis bete, I meant to say Nelson Mandela!" More laughter ensued and I turned a suitable shade of pink. "No, no that's not it...no, wait everyone, your laughter is putting me off! It's on the tip of my tongue..."
"It was Martin Luther King!" someone said loudly to which I clicked my fingers and proclaimed "yes! Yes, that's it!" And I assure you, lovely readers, that I did already know this, I did, it was just a slip of the tongue, but none of the pop quiz possie seemed to believe me.
Which is why I zoned back out again and mentally wrote my shopping list. After all, if I have the gift of zoning out, when else would be a better time than when you are being pointed and laughed at?