Well, I knew this day was coming. I knew that my little kitten wouldn't stay a little kitten forever. I knew it, I just didn't realise he'd grow up so fast.
Ollie will turn six months old on February 1st, which, in human terms, is still a baby, but in cat terms he's coming on for a teenager. Which only means one thing...
Do you remember being a teen? Remember hating your parents? Remember being so embarrassed by them and refusing to be anywhere near them because they were, like, so uncool, man. Well, Ollie is going through that teenage phase. He's rebellious, he won't let me hug him or kiss him, he no longer comes to sleep on my lap unless he's feeling really sorry for himself, he refuses to allow me to groom his fur or trim his claws, and he's even started answering me back when I tell him off. Not to mention he sleeps all day and partys all night.
And like most adolescent boys he's lazy. I mean, he has his bursts of energy which send him galloping through the house at top speed, but in between those wee mad half hours he is lazy. And here is the evidence;
Between you and me, I wouldn't be surprised if I caught him hanging out his bedroom window with a cigarette in his mouth and a bottle of Buckfast in his hand. Rebellion is his middle name right now.
I'm sure you get the point, but what I'm trying to convey is I think Ollie has reached cat puberty.
The idea that he is coming of age was reinforced the other evening when mum and I were sitting in the living room late at night, just blethering away, as we do, with Ollie running off his energy around us. He suddenly stopped short and lay on his back to wash himself when we both noticed it. Ollie was displaying more of his bits than I'd ever seen before.
They grow up so fast don't they?
The thing is I really don't think I'm prepared to give him The Talk. I'd have no clue where to begin and I don't want to embarrass him but someone needs to tell him about the birds and the bees. I nominate FP. After all, he is his father and he is male. You have to take your fathering responsibilities seriously, you know. And while you're at it my darling FP, perhaps you could just mention that he's getting neutered in a few weeks time? I'm sure it'll be better coming from you, there's a good lad.