Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Princesse Waz 'Ere

Now that I've left school it's not often that I have to use a public loo with scribbles and messages on the walls. However this evening when out with my brother at a comedy club I discovered that the unisex loos were absolutely plastered in graffiti. I read some interesting confessions and learned about who 'waz ere' but one message scrawled in bold writing across the toilet stall door stuck in my mind.

Joe is a Gay Homosexual

It has left me a little bemused. What other kind of homosexual is there?


T.D. Newton said...

Ah, you've stumbled upon one of my absolute favorite pastimes: Bathroom Graffiti. I have seen some seriously great ones, though mostly obscene or just plain gross. It's so hilarious what people think is so important that they need to write it on the bathroom wall. I have one good picture of it in one of my Myspace photo albums where it says something like "God is old man in white PJ's". Funny stuff.

And calling someone a gay homo is like using a double negative. Doesn't a negative plus a negative equal a positive?

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Bathroom graffti is great! Except when you see your own name of course (which never happened to me as far as I know, but I was always frantically scanning the toilets at school for my name).

It's been many a year since I managed to find a loo with graffiti, and because I was using a unisex toilet this evening I'm now wondering if it's still around, just not in the ladies loos. Perhaps it's men who enjoy scrawling their inner most thoughts on the walls as they go about their business. I have noticed that it tends to be mainly men who feel the need to read something when on the toilet. I guess you can't take a book into the public bathrooms, so the next best thing - to read the graffiti on the walls. What a perfect plan!

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Double negatives making positives have always confused me especially when it comes to words but you know what, I think you're right about this one. Perhaps the person who wrote it was trying to be ironic?

Or maybe they were just stuck to find any fitting insult for Joe.

Or maybe they were just dumb.

T.D. Newton said...

Yeah, it's always been my belief that only men perform the bathroom graffiti (or the occasional man-inside-the-woman's-washroom). I've been in a few women's restrooms over the years; when I played high school football we always had to use the girl's locker rooms at other teams' high schools when we played away games and I've been bored working a few Saturdays at past jobs. You never know what you're going to find in a restroom.

Not very many places have unisex bathrooms here in the States. I think we're afraid of seeing the opposite sex's short-and-curlies, pardon my language.

T.D. Newton said...

The double-negative-making-a-positive is a math thing, not really a word thing. If you minus a negative number then it is adding the number. If you multiply two negative numbers the result is always positive. I'm a geek.

Double-negative in English is when you say "I'm never not gonna do that" which means you ARE, in fact, gonna do it. Someone who is gay is a 180 from a heterosexual, therefore a gay homo would be a complete 360 landing them on hetero again.

Whew, some people leave brain teasers on the bathroom walls, don't they!?

Ghosty said...

I used to make a hobby of finding interesting and unusual things written on bathroom walls. I actually kept a notebook of such art. Why I stopped doing it, I have no idea.

Men's room haiku can be awesome, however:

Woe is the man whose
poetic sense is heightened
by odors of ass

I had to go to Vassar to get that one. :)

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Unisex loos are a bad idea because for some insane reason that I have never been able to fathom, men pee in urinals in a line seperated by NOTHING. I just don't get it. Anyway, women don't want to see that. It's best to keep ladies and men seperate. Also the guys loos always stink really really badly. Really badly.

I've always wondered if people who doodle on toilet walls deliberately carry a pen on their person so that they always have one handy when in the loo.

By Jove Ghosty, that's some lovely prose and how true it is too!

T.D. Newton said...

I used to carry a mini-permanent marker on my keychain to scribble on bathroom walls. I used to write the same thing everywhere but now I don't remember what it was. Eventually that keychain broke and I lost my little sharpie.

Yes, guy bathrooms REEK to high heaven. It may sound really stupid or ironic to say so, but I absolutely hate it when bathrooms stink.

Ack, I thought unisex bathrooms were for a single person like they are here (in the very rare places you see them). I can't imagine using a urinal mere feet from a woman in a stall. That's just too weird to think about.

Teuchter said...

Bog scrawlings...

Seen in the girls' toilets of Aberdeen Students' Union, circa mid seventies...

(blue ink)
My mother made me a lesbian.

(black ink)
If I give her 4oz wool, will she make me one too?


Seen on a bog wall in Ma Camerons, Aberdeen, circa mid seventies ...


This list perplexed me for several weeks - until someone kindly added ...

"Say in an Oirish accent"

There was also a brilliant bit of graffiti on the wall above the urinal in the Men's bog, next to the Beer Bar in Aberdeen SU - but I wasn't there and didn' see it. Really.

Daddy Papersurfer said...

I just think it's a very precise description - apparently Joe used to be a miserable homosexual but then he sat down and had a long chat with his Mum and everything was hunky dory from that day forward. It's really a lovely story with a happy ending.

Princesse Ecossaise said...

My goodness Teuchter that's some genius you found scrawled on the bog wall!! I'm now feeling like taking a pen into a loo and scribbling it down, taking credit for it myself. I wonder how the heck the second person figured out that it was to be said in an oirish accent!!! love it!

TD YOU SLAY ME!!! (see I've been using your lingo over here!) You actually carried a wee pen around soleley for the purpose of writing on loo walls? That's hilarious!

I think next time I see some good graffiti in the bathroom I'll take a photo with my phone and start a gallery of loo art.

DP it didn't occur to me that this could be the case. I think the person who wrote it could have rephrased it thought, if that was what he wanted to say, it would have been much clearer had he said 'joe is a happy homo'. And it's more poetic too. :-D

ColbyPants said...

redundant much, lol

Zhu said...

You're so mean! Why don't you want Joe to be happy???