Saturday, August 18, 2007

Alone

To miss -

To regret the absence or loss of

As in; I miss you


I sit in the bed he slept in for the past week and I look around me. He tidied up before he left; made the bed, tucked the corners of the white sheets under the mattress and folded the extra towels neatly, placing them at the end of the bed as he found them the day he arrived.

My laptop warms my legs as I burrow myself into the bed which seems so large now he’s not here. The pillow still holds his scent, and is now covered in mascara from the tears that have spilled from my cheeks.

I thought that the airport goodbyes would become less upsetting the more we had to deal with them. I suppose I was wrong. As he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me softly, I realised this would never get any easier. We stood at the entrance to Passport Control, his beautiful, blue eyes smiled down at me and I forced myself to hide my sorrow.

And then he was gone. Walking slowly towards Security and joining the queue, pausing once or twice to smile back at me. I held back the tears, watching as he disappeared out of sight when my façade fell to pieces in an instant. My bottom lip quivered and tears burned my eyelids before escaping to trickle down my cheeks, leaving hot, dark mascara coloured streaks.

And now I’m alone.


To Love -

A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

As in; I love you



15 comments:

FP said...

ooh baby!!! don't be so sad... Even so you'd take my tears out of my eyes which is already limit to get out.. I already miss you too so much. I really really didn't come back from this magnifique place in Scotland you live where i've lived like a REAL PRINCE for a wondeful busy week with you and your family !!!
Baby your not alone !!! i'm still with you! :-) And even your dad told me you'll be here soon! So be strong and look forward to a new great time together ! and don't worry about it !!
je t'aime ma princesse!!!!

Always yours X X X X

FP

Lis of the North said...

You're not alone. You are a princesse who is temporarily separated from her prince, but you're certainly not alone.
Do sympathise so very much. I can remember parting from Hubby (many moons before he became Hubby!). Sometimes it was so bad I thought I'd die from heartache.
xx

Teuchter said...

If something can be sad and lovely at the same time - that was it.

* surreptitiously wipes away a wee tearie drop

Ghosty said...

Ohh, I know just how you feel. Ah, but your FP loves you, and it's just a little mini-love vacation so you can get some Princesse things out of the way. That man is a lucky lad, you know!

Princesse Ecossaise said...

ooh! Teuchter had a wee tearie drop! Adoooorable!

Lis, you put it into the perfect words to describe the way it can feel sometimes; 'I thought I'd die from heartache.'

Luckily, the times FP and I spend together make it all worthwhile. I'd still wait a lifetime just to be with him.

Ghosty ha! 'mini-love vacation', I love it!

And my darling FP, Oh I love you. I adore you. And so, it seems, does my dad!

ColbyPants said...

I have done the long distance thing, it blow. But it just makes the inevitable reunion that much sweeter!

fo' real!

TomC

T.D. Newton said...

Bah, I hate "no comments allowed." That's just silly.

Hang in there, Princesse. Tomorrow is another day and you're no worse off for having tons of acquaintances who worry about crazily depressed entries you post!

Drew said...

Princesse,
You latest entry has me a bit worried, let us know you are okay. There was no way to leave comments on that post. Just wanted to say that you are on my mind and I am sending good thoughts your way.

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Oh thankyou so much boys, I'm sorry for causing concern. Earlier I had a wee bit of a meltdown...

But princesse meltdowns never last too long. Thankfully!

Thankyou so much for the comments, I really, really appreciate it. :-)

Despina said...

Hooray that your dad loves FP!

Hope you're feeling better now sweetie xxx

walkDownAnnaLane said...

hey, girl! as i have already told you...I am in a long distance relationship, too. So I feel your pain! Stay strong. :-) Hopefully you will see your prince very soon again. I get to see mine today. YAY!!! But it does make it pretty special when you don't get to see them often, the times that you do, doesn't it? I am sure you look forward to the time when you and your prince get to be together! You two are so cute together. You all deserve to enjoy all the happiness in the world! :-)

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Ahhh anna, yes you feel my pain! It's quite nice to share some pain, it makes it seem less...painful.

I hope you're having a grand old time with your boyfriend right now - and don't worry about work! Work to live, don't live to work, thats a very good saying!

Ahhh I most certainly do look forward to the time when FP and I will be back together. The worst is not knowing when I will see him again. Still, it's his b'day very soon and I'm hoping to be there for it (or at least a few days afterward)

Despi thanks ye wee sexy minx! I was just being an eejit, feeling lonely and sniffing FP's pillows.

Despi said...

Ah, we have a pillow-sniffer on our hands do we?
Wait til you're sniffing his trainers, then you'll feel silly ;)
Once I went out in Jez's clothes because I was missing him so much. He is a big-shouldered 5'10", I am a curvaceous 5'3" - I looked like a spice girl in his baggy combats and my killer heels!

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Pillow sniffing is my hobby and I'm going to start a fanclub for it. Wanna join? :-D

I appear to have this really cute image in my head of you wearing massive mens clothes and looking tiny and fragile! Despina you are simply my favourite!

Question ~ you've been out in Jez's clothes but has he been out in yours?!

I'm a Ladieeeee!

Despina said...

I don't think fragile is quite the word, but I am flattered!
Now you think we're a pair of crazy cross-dressers, and no, he hasn't been out in my clothes, I think my jeans would just cause him too much pain ;)
But put my name down for pillow-sniffers anonymous. Oh yeah. Well, maybe not so anonymous now!