Well would you believe it? I, the girl who turned up to two out of her seven tutorials last semester, have passed all my exams! All my bloody exams! Who would credit it? Fancy that!
No more exams for me, ever!
In other news, last night was very strange.
I went to bed reading my book and woke up at 3am. My glasses sat on the end of my nose, the book still sat in my hand, open at page 498 – the part where the girl finds out her husband has been having an affair all along – and the Ikea lamp sitting on my bedside cabinet was still on.
Across the room, by the closed door someone cleared their throat. I looked towards them and startled when I realised it was a dog.
I don’t own a dog.
Ah, I thought, it must be one of those strange hallucinations I sometimes have when I’m half asleep.
It wasn’t just any dog, though. It was a dog taken from the scenes of one of C. M. Coolidge’s ‘Dogs Playing Poker’ paintings.
He was a basset hound, brown and white with long, floppy ears. His eyes were glistening in the soft light. He was stood on his hind legs; short and brown with a hint of silver when he came closer. He must be getting old.
He wore a smart dinner jacket, but no trousers. I could see his bits and bobs. I looked away for a moment, embarrassed. And then I remembered he was only a figment of my imagination and it was probably okay to look. The cigar he held in his paw was creating a lovely smell from my childhood; the smell of my Grandfather, before Gran got him to stop smoking.
“You passed your exams, my dear.” He pronounced, in a strong English accent. Posh; like the Queen, I thought to myself.
“I know…” I uttered, astonished.
“Work harder on your dissertation.”
And then the door opened and my mum entered the room, wearing her pyjamas. She looked at me, looked around the room and whispered, “Who are you talking to?”
“Oh just a dog, mum…”
“Well light off, it’s 3am and I want you up early tomorrow.”
And with that I turned off the light and rolled over to face the wall.
I suppose the dog was right. I guess what he was trying to say was that although I passed my exams I can’t allow myself to relax on the dissertation.
It’s true what they say; dogs really are quite clever.