...You must first learn to love yourself.
There are times when I am aware of my own faults. Times when I realise I am talking too much or laughing too loudly or eating too messily. I wonder where my bad habits came from, like biting the skin on my lips, sucking on my thumb (something I didn’t do as a child) and twisting my hair around my finger.
I’d like to see myself through the eyes of others, to know what good points I can build on and what bad points I can change. To see if I am as brave and strong as FP tells me, or if I have a terribly annoying habit that I haven’t noticed yet. I’d like to know if I’m a nice person, if I come across as kind, or as selfish.
What I’d like to know is if I were someone else, would I like the real ‘Princesse Ecossaise’? Would I like my own company? Or would I learn something about myself that might hurt?
When I look back at my past I hate who I was. There were times that I was certainly not myself, I was someone else, or rather pretending to be someone else. I hate the way I disrespected myself so.
I think, perhaps now, as I am older, wiser, and have found a place in life where I allow myself to be me, I can say I think I would be friends with me.
And perhaps this is why I have finally found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Because by being with him I can be myself and learn to love myself, respect myself in a way that I couldn't before. He is the man who knows the real me. He taught me I am a good person and that it's okay to be me, even if it does mean being different to other people. He taught me that I am worthy of his love and of his time. And by showing me how to love myself, flaws and all, I have found an inner peace that without him, I would not have achieved.
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