Tuesday, June 05, 2007

The one where I out-stay my welcome


I’m in hiding.

Because I’m spending the week chez mes parents, I’ve been behaving myself. I like to come home and impress them with my maturity, to show them that I am a wonderful upstanding citizen, that I am a merit to them.

But it was inevitable that any good behaviour wouldn’t last long.

I was cooking my own dinner this evening, a simple bowl of pasta with some melted butter and smothered in tomato ketchup. Mum had just got in from work and I was getting in her way.

“Right. I’ll do your pasta, just go into the living room and sit down, you’re getting in my way!” She snapped. She’s never in a good mood when she gets home from work. She’s a teacher and deals with naughty kids all day, only to come home to find her own naughty kid trying to cook in her kitchen.

I traipsed back into the living room, feeling guilty. I had wanted to cook my own dinner, I didn’t want to have bothered her.

Five minutes later, my dad arrived home from work. Kissing me on my forehead, he greeted me and asked why I seemed sad.

“I should go back to my flat,” I sighed. “I’ve out-stayed my welcome.”

“Pffft! Don’t be a silly sausage,” he rubbed me on the top of my head in a good natured manner, messing my hair, before walking away.

My mum passed me in the living room on her way upstairs to get changed into comfortable clothes. “Your pasta’s ready, you can go and get it, toots.”

I thanked her and sauntered into the kitchen. Smothering the pasta with tomato ketchup, I picked up a fork and turned to take the plate out to the dining room.

“Oh!”

As I turned, the pasta scooted off the plate and onto the floor. Now, I don’t know why, but we have a damn carpet in our kitchen. I think we are the only ones who have a carpeted kitchen. Now I know why.

Pasta and ketchup was strewn everywhere. I quickly looked around, to see if anyone had witnessed the incident. My dad walked into the room. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the mess. I looked at him, he looked at me. Silence.

And then we grabbed cloths and started scrubbing away, in an effort to hide the evidence from Mum.

Of course we couldn’t hide it. And I’m now in trouble. So I’m in hiding.

I feel like a child again. I wouldn't be surprised if I was grounded...

26 comments:

Drew said...

As ever you have such entertaining stories. You really should compile these into a book. They are hilarious.

Not that I don't feel for you and your predicament.

T.D. Newton said...

Once I spilled an entire bowl of chili (a large bowl) the same way and luckily my sister helped me clean it up. My parents were not home at the time.

Everyone is bit clumsy now and then.

ColbyPants said...

please tell me "ketchup" mean "spaghetti sauce" in Scotland, and not the stuff that I put on hot dogs here. because if it is, then I just might be ill.

TomC


PS when I was a kid, there was carpet in our kitchen too, this ugly shit brown color that looked like a giant stain, so stains wouldnt show.

sylvie d said...

Time to move out...it always starts like that!

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Ahahahahaha Tom you totally crack me up man. Our kitchen carpet is multi coloured, there are little brown spots and orange spots on a cream background...its to hide the stains! It looks like someone has projectile vomited all over the floor.

And no, I mean ketchup as in the ketchup you put on hot dogs. I eat ketchup on everything. I eat ketchup sandwhiches - two slices of bread, some butter and ketchup. mmmmmmm...

Princesse Ecossaise said...

And Sylvie - it's probably good timing that I'm leaving the country in a few weeks!! hehehe

sugar007 said...

"a simple bowl of pasta with some melted butter and smothered in tomato ketchup" - Nice adult cuisine there young lady. Jamie Oliver would be proud. This is one recipe to add to the University' students cookbook :-)

ColbyPants said...

yeah thats definitely might be something only a College student could love.


Sorry, but thats really gross, and I like catsup as much as the next guy.

TomC

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Oh come on everyone, don't pretend you've never had it before!

Why do I all of a sudden feel shame in writing about the type of food I eat? pasta and butter, ketchup sandwhiches, chocolate buttons and drinking ribena and vodka is all pretty normal to me!

Ever tried crisps (chips to americans) and chocolate together? mmmm delicious.

ColbyPants said...

pasta and butter is great by itself, sans ketchup. Carrie swears by Vodka and Kool Aid. And Ruffles Potato Chips and M & M chocolates together are divine.

but ketchup on pasta, ew!

lol

TomC

Princesse Ecossaise said...

You don't know what your missing! It's a culinary delight, and I'm going to feed FP on it so he stays a nice big strong man.

Why do americans call ketchup catsup????????

ColbyPants said...

I was under the impression that was what it was called before people got lazy.

http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-ket2.htm

KETCHUP VERSUS CATSUP :)

TomC

Zhu said...

Oh I can sooo relate ! Not to the "teacher comes home in a bad mood part" of course. I'm always sweet. Except mornings, but it doesn't count.

But I too feel like a kids when I go visit my parents ! I turn all clumsy, don't cook right, don't clean up well etc. And I'm fine when I'm alone !

PS: sweetie, you should come to Canada. You'll feel at home, everyone speaks a mix of French and English ! :D

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Oh zhu you hit the nail on the head darling! That's what happens when we go back to stay with the parents - we regress into little kids!

I shall come to Canada! I've some long lost family over there I'd like to gt back in touch with, and it is a beautiful country. In a few years...when I find some money! You can teach me francais! ^_^

Catsup sounds so weird to me. What's it got to do with cats? I don't understand.

Miss Despina said...

I lived with a ketchup addict and you're all wierd! I know, I was making a meal with my mum last weekand every single thing went absolutely wrong. I just drank loads and hoped she wouldn't notice!

Ghosty said...

KETCHUP?! Even us weird Americans don't eat like that, shame on you. Ketchup on pasta ... straight to cuisine hell, that's where you're headed. Next we'll be hearing about jelly and mayonaise sandwhiches, I'll wager.

Princesse Ecossaise said...

ahem...speaking of 'jelly'...at least I don't live in a nation where peanut butter is eaten in the same sandwhich as jam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried it once, on a plane to America. I almost barfed.

ColbyPants said...

dont sound too grossed out., you probably eat peanut butter and catsup.


YEAH THATS RIGHT CATSUP!

TomC

Princesse Ecossaise said...

LOL No! I eat peanut butter and bread, nothing else with it ever. And it's not CATSUP! it's KETCHUP. I checked the bottle, and nowhere does it say 'catsup'. What a crap name! catsup. pffffft

ColbyPants said...

there are bottles in the US that say catsup on them

http://www.westbrae.com/images/products/sfsc.jpg

Princesse Ecossaise said...

damn it. ok I think it's one of those unexplainable British / American differences. like the words Mom and Mum, color and colour, gray and grey, center and centre.

Catsup / Ketchup

Actually, ketchup is more often than not called 'tomato sauce' here...

We do have some random conversations over here don't we!

Princesse Ecossaise said...

P.S. the words Catsup makes me think of a cat slurping...

Jessi said...

We had a carpeted kitchen in our last place. I thought 'we' were the only ones with carpet in there, but yay, I'm not alone! Lol.

(And thanks for stopping by my blog. :D)

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Ha! Imagine that! Perhaps the whole carpeted kitchen is less rare than I first thought!!

joy suzanne said...

Funny post!

Listen, in America, it's ketchup. You might be able to find the stray bottle of weird stuff with catsup on the label, but Heinz says KETCHUP and so does almost everyone else.

Princesse Ecossaise said...

I knew it JS! I knew it was ketchup and not Catsup! And HEINZ is The Best - officially. Fact.