Monday, June 11, 2007

*^"*! %"*$$*!

Princesse is angry today.

A doctor missed her vein when he took a blood sample. Now she has internal bleeding and an unsightly bruise.

She got pooed on by a pigeon and then laughed at by a revolting little boy.

She couldn't decide on what she wanted to eat for dinner and so, stubborn as she is, she decided she wouldn't have dinner at all. She is now hungry but too proud to admit it.

She has bloggers block which explains this post.

She misses her boyfriend. A lot.

Do you feel sorry for her? I do. Cheer her up with some banter. Ah go on. Go on, go on, go on. Share a joke, share a rant, share a story, just talk to her!!!!!



ColbyPants said...

I got a box of cigars from Jeebus today, so I guess that means he isn't too much of a bitch. Good stogies too.


Princesse Ecossaise said...

Well now you've just made me jealous. Not that I want cigars. I never ever get anything in the post except bills. Boo.

How was your birthday, grandpa? Just joking :-p

Lesley said...

Feeling very sorry for you. But mind has gone blank when it comes to finding a joke. This is the best I can do:

This three legged dog walks into a saloon in Texas and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my Paw.”

Boom Boom (or maybe not)

Princesse Ecossaise said...

awwwwww Lesley c'est trop mignon! You brought a smile to my face! (even though it took me a few minutes to understand it...but that's the way my brain works at night time. Ten minutes delay.)

Princesse's Mum said...

Cheer up ma cherie.Eat some chocolate and get an early night.nite nite lots luv mum xx

T.D. Newton said...

I'm sorry you're having a shit day.

My book proposal somehow got forwarded to some idiot guy in Florida and I got a really weird email this morning that I'm still trying to figure out the solution for. I'm a little upset myself so we can commiserate.

ColbyPants said...

thats kida odd TD, hope you get it figured out


ColbyPants said...

my birthday was great! BTW. . .

Princesse Ecossaise said...

That IS odd TD, what did the email say? I mean, did it seem legitimate?

Yes, let us commiserate.

But hang on, actually TD that should be good news. Thats only been a few days since you sent the proposals out - at least people have read them already! Thats GOOD news!!

Let us celebrate.

P.s. Thanks mummmmy

T.D. Newton said...

Congrats on a good birthday, dude. Mine is going to be 2 weeks after I get married so it will probably not be a letdown in comparison to the week-long honeymoon in the Caribbean.

I hope I get it figured out, too. Worst case scenario is I re-send the BP (and NOT send it overnight this time) and that's pretty easy. I just wish this Florida person would email me back.

T.D. Newton said...

No no, the company didn't forward the BP, the post office did. And it looks like either they forwarded it improperly or some moron in Florida has been getting a lot of bad mail. The guy doesn't speak very good english so its a bit of a struggle to understand AND he hasn't written me back all day after I emailed him back from the original message. It is very odd (and annoying).

Princesse Ecossaise said...

The feckin' post office. They are absolutley dire. British ones, foreign ones; they are all shit. The bane of my life so they are.

If the guy in Florida got the wrong mail then isn't it bad that he opened it and looked at it if it was not addressed to him?

I'd be very angry if it went to the wrong address / wrong person because you paid money to send it specially.

Sue them.

T.D. Newton said...

Ha, I've never heard of anyone suing the post office, probably because they're expected to be incompetent. I'm probably going to give this till the end of the week and re-send it. I hate this kind of crap! Why can't anyone just get their damn mail, huh??

BTW, it's raining and 80*F outside right now and I just saw a roof blow off of a building across the street (and onto some cars in the parking lot). Feckin' crazy.

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Oh My God.

That is extremely weird and scary. I thought that kind of stuff only happened in movies. Well apart from when it's on the news of course.

How can you stay so calm about that?! If I were there I would be cowering underneath the nearest sturdy table weeping like a baby.

Was it a whole roof? I mean a WHOLE entire roof off of someone's home? Man, I'd be absolutley gutted if my roof just blew off my house.

T.D. Newton said...

It was really just a few long strips of sheet metal. It's been extra windy here lately so I think a gust just hit it wrong but it was ready to go. And it wasn't near my car! Besides, I'm on the 3rd floor looking out some thick windows. I'll be okay.

ColbyPants said...

I am fairly sure it is written to american law, that if the post office fucks up, that its the senders fault, and so there is no grounds for suing. (more specifically, you send mail at your own risk.)

My Wedding was two weeks after my birthday, and this year is the first years since the divorce that they both line up on saturdays. weird.


T.D. Newton said...

My first wedding was two weeks after my birthday. So weird.

Princesse Ecossaise said...

And I've never been married. Booooo. I feel left out.

TD you be careful. If a roof could fly then I'm sure other things could too. Like cars and post boxes and telephone boxes and trees and if there is an airport near you then it's quite likely that a plane will be blown off route and perhaps straight into your street. :-O

Also, I once read that a man in Japan was blown off his feet and landed a few miles away from where he had been previously standing. Be careful!

Princesse Ecossaise said...

P.S. NO ONE commented on my talented drawing. :-(

T.D. Newton said...

LOL I was just about to comment on your drawing. I love how you included a cleavage line. That's the best part.

It's not THAT windy today, it was just a little burst that did it. It was definitely THAT windy for a day and a half last week. I left work one night and the wind nearly blew the glasses off my face. I've never been in wind that bad in recent memory but I am definitely not light enough that a non-tornado could pick me up hahahaha!

And, I actually work right across the street from an airport (not the International Airport, though). Frightening, eh?

T.D. Newton said...


This guy in Florida thinks that he bought some handlebars from me. I'm starting to think that this has absolutely nothing to do with the package that I sent.

T.D. Newton said...

OK, issue resolved. My address is one character different than the one this guy in Florida was supposed to be contacting about his missing handlebars. The email had absolutely nothing to do with my BP.

But now I have another funny story to tell when I write the foreword for my first book hahaha

Zhu said...

I feel sorry for her but I also think tomorrow will be a better day !

How would you say that in Scottish already ? ;)

ColbyPants said...

i tried to leave you a voice message but it wouldnt work, :(

Sebastien said...

When life throws us into difficult challenges, terrible situations, ghastly occurences, there is only one solution. Only one way to find true happiness and peace...


Sebastien said...

By the way, thank you for your message at my blog! I've been having a bit of a down period so I haven't been blogging much of late, but hopefully I will feel a bit better soon!

Despinová said...

Princesse, hope you're feeling better now, and have had some chocolate! I have a friend here in Prague who can give me back massages, I wish you were here to benefit! Worried about your leg :(
It was i who googled Despina and Jez, to cheer myself up, you should google yourself and FP under your pseudonyms, of course! How long til you see him?
Prague blog coming soon!

sugar007 said...

Pigeon pooing in you, is a sign of good luck!! Honest!! Sweet your mummy left a message :-) Can't think of a single joke...

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Ohhhhhhhh I LOVE EVERYONE who left me a message! You are all lovely and great!

Firstly; TD that is absolutley FREAKIN HILARIOUS!!!!!! I laughed - no, in fact I guffawed - uncontrollably when I read that!! Handlebars?!! LOL.

And yes, my favourite bit about the drawing is of course the carefully drawn cleavage line!!!

haha oh Zhu, here, try this out for size; 'the morrows gonnae be braw' lol that means 'tomorrow will be better!'

TOMMMM I'm gutted, try again I want a voice message!!!

SEBASTIEN!!!! I am really glad to hear you're okay!! I'm sorry you've been feeling down lately, hope you feel better soon mon ami.

Awww Despina that is way too cute!! You googled yourself and Jez, that is really adorable! I think I shall do the very same for myself and FP! Not long till I see him, should be in about three to four weeks. Woooooooo!

Don't worry your wee cotton socks darlin' my leg is grand! Although I have to get the stitches out on Friday and I'm not happy about that :-( Poo.

And Sugar! That is what all the French people tell me! Hmmm I'm not so sure about it yet, I'm waiting on the proof!!!

Jeebus said...


I have a HORRIBLE story to tell, but it will make me too sad to say it all over again

Tom knows...(Jessica)


Princesse Ecossaise said...

Oh dear....Are you having girl troubles Jeebus? Ah go on, tell Auntie Princesse I'll give you advice. I'm a certified Agony Aunt you know.

Jeebus said...

Well...It's much to much of a long story, but i can pretty much sum it up in a couple of words

Me=MADDLY in love with Jessica

Jessica=Has a boyfriend...and i can't do anything about it


Princesse Ecossaise said...

Oh la la! That's no good. Do you know her boyfriend? You could try making up a rumour that he's gay!

Jeebus said...

I can't do that, she'll hate me forever and i don't want that. She's a really cool person to be around, and she knows that i think the world of her but sadly i guess it's just not meant to be


Princesse Ecossaise said...

You and I are doing that thing again where we are having two simultineous conversations in two places...

Funnily enough, when FP and I met we were both with other people. Just be patient, 'cause if it is meant to be then it will happen!

(don't laugh at my pathetic cheesiness!)

ColbyPants said...

everywhere I go I see conversations between jeebus and Princesse. Weird.

That said its simple.

Girls named Jessica (which is my ex wife's name) are EVIL



Princesse Ecossaise said...


I've never met a Jessica before, but in my head they are all hot and look like Jesica Rabbit.

Except your ex-wife. She is mean and I don't like her :-(

Jeebus said...


Jessica Rabbit!!!!

The Jessica I know is tall and skinny, like me!!!

and not all Jessica's are evil....they're just really mean...:-(

ColbyPants said...

my ex was short and curvaceous, not so much like jessica rabbit, who was tall and animated.