Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Reflective Bicycle Clip




They say the world is a balance. Something clever happens; something dumb happens elsewhere, something bad happens; something good happens to balance it out.

And this is why my morning has gone the way it has.

***

I pressed ‘snooze’ ten times this morning; that’s nine times too many. And so I got up extremely late, took a cold, speedy shower, tied my hair up and put on my lopsided glasses. I managed a quick bowl of Honey Loops, and a lukewarm cup of tea before rushing around the apartment like a headless chicken.

***

I had a nosebleed, bright red blood gushing from both nostrils, splashing onto my white jacket. Sitting down to put on my shoes, my jeans went POP and the top button flew halfway across the room.

***

Walking briskly to the bus stop, I watched from afar as my bus left without me and another on its way. I made a run for it. And then I fell. Went over my ankle, fell in full view of everyone, and the bus wizzed by me, the schoolkids at the back pointing and laughing.

***

After uni, I had to walk miles out of my way to the post office depot to pick up a mysterious letter that I had to sign for. Although it had been sunny, within two minutes dark clouds appeared and the heavens opened up. The Gods cried their eye juice on me, my shirt became transparent and plastered itself to my body. The losers driving the lorries and trucks showed their appreciation by beeping their horns at me.

***

The mysterious letter turned out to be a notice kicking me out of my apartment.

But do I care? Nah…’Cause my French oral exam went fantastically well! Not only that but I also I found a reflective bicycle clip in my cereal box and that was bloody brilliant. Even though I don't have a bike.

Now who wants to celebrate with me? Anyone?

12 comments:

T.D. Newton said...

Well done.

I'll have to wait until tomorrow to celebrate (its my fiance's birthday).

Anthony said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ColbyPants said...

I had two fingers of the finest American Whiskey I could find (and it was fine!), and toasted your success. Sorry, I just can't stomach Scotch, though that would have been more appropriate.

By the way, this is a lingering question from the Irvine Welsh novels I obsessed over in HS, but what exactly is a lorrie?

TomC

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Thanks T.D, happy birthday celebrations for your fiancee!

Tom, you really make me laugh! First of all, I'm glad you toasted my success! One for whiskey for the exam, the other for my bicycle clip I imagine?

Secondly, I can't believe you don't know what a lorry is! It's just a truck. Except now you have made me confused and I'm not sure what the difference between a lorry and a truck are, or even if there is any difference at all...

Thirdly, Irvine Welsh!! Yassssssssss. You have very good taste my friend, very good taste indeed.

Miss Despina said...

Sounds like a nightmare exam day. Well done for your presentation!
Now you'll have to get a bike.
D x

ColbyPants said...

okay. that makes sense. we just don't use the term stateside, so I wondered if its a SPECIAL type of truck.

TomC

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Cheers Despy! If I had money I'd get a bike - a pink one with a basket, streamers on the handlebars and a bell. But I have no money! *sob*

Tom, it totally could be a SPECIAL type of truck! I think it's a mystery of life that may never be answered...

The Horns and the Hawk said...

earlier this fine evening i had a cuban cigar and a negra modelo. before that i had a blue moon white wheat ale with my sandwich, and i enjoyed a nice bit of chocolate along with my cigar.

the cigar was crap. i don't understand them. much prefer pipes.

at any rate, let the cigar be dedicated to the wonderfully fulfilling theological and general life discussion i had with a great friend.

let the other fine drinks and food be dedicated to you showing that class who's boss.

...and why are you being kicked out?

ColbyPants said...

hey hawk? which habano did you have?

I fancy mmyself a bit of a cigar enthusiast, so you peaked my interest. . . .


and he brings up a good point, why are you being kicked out?

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Because I am a bad tenant and abuse my neighbours with my loud music and funky bass jams.

No, not really, just because my lease will be finished in July and I had forgotten. Still, that's okay because by July I shall be in La France!

ColbyPants said...

so its all good!

Anonymous said...

maddy i hope you retern to your parents safe and well
plese give maddy back to her own parents .

love you loads Anela butler