They say the world is a balance. Something clever happens; something dumb happens elsewhere, something bad happens; something good happens to balance it out.
And this is why my morning has gone the way it has.
I pressed ‘snooze’ ten times this morning; that’s nine times too many. And so I got up extremely late, took a cold, speedy shower, tied my hair up and put on my lopsided glasses. I managed a quick bowl of Honey Loops, and a lukewarm cup of tea before rushing around the apartment like a headless chicken.
I had a nosebleed, bright red blood gushing from both nostrils, splashing onto my white jacket. Sitting down to put on my shoes, my jeans went POP and the top button flew halfway across the room.
Walking briskly to the bus stop, I watched from afar as my bus left without me and another on its way. I made a run for it. And then I fell. Went over my ankle, fell in full view of everyone, and the bus wizzed by me, the schoolkids at the back pointing and laughing.
After uni, I had to walk miles out of my way to the post office depot to pick up a mysterious letter that I had to sign for. Although it had been sunny, within two minutes dark clouds appeared and the heavens opened up. The Gods cried their eye juice on me, my shirt became transparent and plastered itself to my body. The losers driving the lorries and trucks showed their appreciation by beeping their horns at me.
The mysterious letter turned out to be a notice kicking me out of my apartment.
But do I care? Nah…’Cause my French oral exam went fantastically well! Not only that but I also I found a reflective bicycle clip in my cereal box and that was bloody brilliant. Even though I don't have a bike.
Now who wants to celebrate with me? Anyone?