Monday, May 07, 2007

Nervous Laughter

Someone tell me a joke. I’ve got my bloody oral presentation tomorrow and I need to laugh to break the tension. Make me laugh…please?

The best joker wins something that I haven’t decided yet.

13 comments:

Thomas Hamburger Jnr said...

OK ... here goes.

A man walks into a bar.

"Ouch!" he said.

Should have looked where he was going.

Kind Regards

THJnr

(And I Fuelled Your Blog again so you can feel good for tomorrow!)

T.D. Newton said...

Good luck on that. I'm guessing (since I don't actually know) that your presentation has something to do with french... unfortunately I only know BAD (read: racist) jokes about french people (and mexicans, and everyone else) so I'm not too useful here.

A good joke is always, a what's-blank-and-blank-and-blank-all-over? And then answer something true but not always the first thing people think of.

You could always tell about the two greatest inventions of [insert poorly thought-of nationality here]: solar-powered flashlight and helicopter ejector seat.

OR you could do something like what-did-one-blank-say-to-the-other-blank? Those are always fun.

Sorry if I'm not more help. If you weren't probably tired and too nervous I'd say to run some google searches for the type of joke you want.

Miss Despina said...

(A Russian joke that probably loses something in the translation, but is sent with the best intentions.)

A man goes to his psychologist with a serious problem.

Man: You see Dr it's like this, I come home every night and I find my wife in the arms of another man.

Dr: So what do you do about it? Have you confronted him?

Man: No, I can't. I just go in the kitchen and make myself a coffee.
And that's what my problem is - I'm drinking way too much coffee.

(Sorry.)

Bonne chance pour demain! Tu kickeras ass!

D x

Sebastien said...

I don't really know any jokes. Ummm, I have chocolate on my arm for some reason. I really do.

Sebastien said...

And good luck with your presentation, if there is one thing I DREAD doing, it's giving a presentation...

Zhu said...

Do you know why women are terrible with parallel parking ?

Because all their life, they've been told that [Showing your forefinger] is 20 cm !

***

Okay, sorry, this is more of a visual joke...!

On the bright side, I'm linking to your blog ! ;-)

Good luck !

Betty C. said...

I'm really bad at jokes. But here are a couple bilingual ones. They're pretty lame:

Why does it never flood in France?
Because the water is always l'eau.

Why did Pierre turn down the omelette?
Because he had already had un oeuf.

Okay, I know those are Carambar joke quality.

Maybe I'll just tell you something funny about your last post. When I saw the first line, I thought you were referring to a song that I had just put up on my other blog, And So Forth (www.and-so-forth.blogspot.com) My first thought was that somehow this song was being used in British train stations now and I thought that was just terrible! Then I got oriented to the right blog...

ColbyPants said...

kinda off color, hope you don't mind:

A guy dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter issues him a white robe,a harp, and his very own cloud to float around on. The guy thinks this is great.



One day he sees another cloud float by. The guy on that cloud has a gorgeous, naked woman and a keg of beer with him.



The first guy finds St. Peter and complains to him. "How come this guy gets a gorgeous babe and keg of beer, when all I got is this white robe and a lousy harp?



St. Peter says, "I know just who you're talking about. He's

being punished." The guy can't believe what he's hearing. "How can that be?", he asks.



"Well," says St. Peter, "The keg has a hole in it,and the girl doesn't."

Lis of the North said...

Two lions walking down Princes Street. One turns to the other and says "it's quiet today".

I'll throw in another for free:
What's ET short for?
.
.
.
Coz he's only got small legs.

ColbyPants said...

wow, that ET joke is so bad, its good!

TomC

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Haha! Gee whizz even the crap jokes here have made me laugh!

The crappest jokes are always the best, man. The ET joke is in fact one of my old favourites!

So hard to choose a winner...hmmm...

Princesse Ecossaise said...

And by the way, anyone think it's rather strange that the 'French Word of the Day' widget I have here has :

B

the letter B

a bit obvious, non?

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Damn, I forgot to make my thankyou's.

Thanks for the fuel Thomas J Hamburger...how very kind! You and Sylvie are my fuelers ^_^

And thanks to you Zhu for adding me to your blog roll, I shall do the same for you! I told your joke to my friend today and she almost wet herself laughing...literally!

Seb...are you sure it was chocolate on your arm?! ahem...