Thursday, May 10, 2007

And The Winner Is...

Remember the Joke Competition? Well, here are the results.

After a panel of judges, including celebrity comedians such as Chris Rock and Peter Kay, (no, I’m only kidding) scratched their heads over whose joke was the funniest and most worthy of winning the wonderful prize, they finally came to a decision.

But before I announce the lucky winner, I want to share my jokes. These are my favourite, but a warning, do not read on if you are easily offended.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the sea?

Bob.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bag?

Russel (rustle).

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the floor?

Matt.

*cue laughter and applause*

Okay dokay, without further ado, here is the lucky winner.

Drum roll please…

Tom C, otherwise known as Colbypants for his somewhat naughty joke (again, those easily offended should not read on);

“A guy dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter issues him a white robe, a harp, and his very own cloud to float around on. The guy thinks this is great.

One day he sees another cloud float by. The guy on that cloud has a gorgeous, naked woman and a keg of beer with him.

The first guy finds St. Peter and complains to him. "How come this guy gets a gorgeous babe and keg of beer, when all I got is this white robe and a lousy harp?

St. Peter says, "I know just who you're talking about. He's being punished." The guy can't believe what he's hearing. "How can that be?" he asks.

"Well," says St. Peter, "The keg has a hole in it and the girl doesn't."”

We like naughty jokes here in Princesse Headquarters.

Well done Colbypants! You win…blog exposure. Okay, okay I know it’s not such an exciting prize, you may have won a nice tartan mug or something but I am a student with precisely £1.52 in my pocket.

Of course, what is a competition without runners up? Here they are;

Zhu with her joke that only the females can appreciate;

"Do you know why women are terrible with parallel parking ?Because all their life, they've been told that [Showing your forefinger] is 20 cm !"

And Betty C with her bilingual joke;

"Why does it never flood in France?Because the water is always l'eau."

FĂ©licitations tout le monde!


10 comments:

ColbyPants said...

w0000000000000000000000000000000000t!

as usual, I rule at life. . .


but I do have to credit my girlfriends Dad, who told me the joke earlier that day. I was almost in tears, haha.

Thankyou for the ever so prestigous award, I seem to be getting a lot of, uhm, "exposure" these days, haha!

Glad I could brighten your day,

TomC

Princesse Ecossaise said...

haha well done, share your success with your girlfriend's dad!

I have now written a whole post dedicated to you...enjoy!

The Horns and the Hawk said...

as an american, i'm deeply offended by that bilingual joke.

well, not so much "offended" as "feel retarded" because i understand approximately 4 phrases in french, and can count to six. not even ten. i am certifiable "weak sauce."

Princesse Ecossaise said...

that's probably why the bilingual joke could not win...because Chris Rock did not understand it.

Now, let me tell you, that in Novemeber I will be the proud owner of a Batchelor of Arts honourory diploma in French and Foreign languages and I still have trouble counting in French past 70. They do something strange with their numbers at that stage. I never really got it into my head.

For the joke, if you pronounce l'eau it sounds like 'low' and in French the word for water is l'eau.

Voila.

Princesse Ecossaise said...

I just re read my comment and I must apologise because I feel like a big show off geek...forgive me, I'm not a geek, nor a show off.

Zhu said...

Yeah, I'm proud to be second !!! I never win anything, now I actually made someone laugh with this silly joke. Yipeeee ! ;-)

(I have even dirtier jokes in French, but I'm way to proper to tell them... okay, only if you ask !)

ColbyPants said...

I wanna hear dirty jokes, but I dont know french!

boohoo!

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Ah go on Zhu! If you tell me naughty French jokes I will then be able to make French people laugh with me and not at me! Maybe.

Perhaps I should have a dirty joke competition...

Lis of the North said...

I LOVED your jokes Princesse. The old ones (and the [groan] ones) are always the best ;)

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Yay!! someone liked my jokes!!! Those ones never fail to crack me up...even if they are slightly non p.c.