It has just occurred to me that I am now 21 years old. I am officially an adult. But I don’t feel ready to wear this title.
It’s always been the same. When I was 4 I looked up at the big kids in the oldest class in school who were 12 years old and I thought they were so grown up; so adult-like, so cool. I told myself, when I reach that age, when I am in the primary 7 class, I will definitely be grown up.
Then I moved on to high school and I still didn’t feel grown up. I looked at the 18 year olds and believed that when I reached 18 I would feel like an adult. But even leaving school at 17 and going off to university to live away from my parents didn’t make me feel like a proper, sensible grown up (in fact, I most definitely reverted and became totally un-sensible).
Now, I’m 21. I’m soon to graduate with a diploma, start working, start living a real adult life.
But, I’m just a little girl playing dress up. A little girl wearing her mum’s high heels and pearls, lipstick smudged across my face, big circled rosy cheeks.
Someone tell me; when was the real moment that you felt like an adult? You’re first job? Learning how to drive? Marriage? Kids?
Or perhaps you are like me; that little child prancing around copying what she has seen ‘real’ adults do, only playing, knowing that you are not ready to be given full freedom and responsibility.