Friday, March 30, 2007

Rats with Wings

Pigeons; they are one of my worst nightmares.

Dirty creatures of Lucifer.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that each time a pigeon comes close to me, I freeze and hold my breath so I don’t catch their germs.

I have a real problem with these birds. It could stem from the time I witnessed a pigeon fly straight into a man’s head in Glasgow city centre. Or perhaps it is because I saw a half dead pigeon on the street outside my house when I was three, with maggots and bugs crawling all over it.

I don’t like pigeons.

Today as I was walking home from university, happily minding my own business, a big fat pigeon hopped onto the pavement five steps in front of me.

I stop in my tracks and wait for him to move out of my way. The revolting creature looks up at me with his beady little eyes. His ugly beak twitches and I swear he hisses my name.

His wings start flapping hysterically, but he doesn’t fly away. I flinch each time his wings beat, thinking he is going to fly right into my face. I have to cross the street in order to get away from him.

Three little boys watch and snigger as I go out of my way to cross the road because of a pigeon.

Who wants to join me in a campaign to eradicate city pigeons? Anyone?


jeebus said...

poor pigeons....

T.D. Newton said...

I've never lived in a city with pigeon problems.

In Salt Lake City, Utah its the seagulls. Sadly, these idiot scavengers are the state bird, which is weird because the state is so inland.

If you see a pigeon on the ground in front of you again just imagine it is a football. That always works for me for various things that get in my way.

Wow, creepy.

T.D. Newton said...

Wow, I wonder if today's comic is a coincidence...

ColbyPants said...

Flying rats, they are!

them and seagulls. if I never see them again. . . .


Princesse Ecossaise said...

I think the best advice is to pretend it's a football. That could be fun. Also it would indeed help eradicate the beasts of satan.

I also detest seagulls...ever since the day when I was chased along the beach in Millport by thousands of them trying to get my chips. In the end I hd to throw my chippy on the ground so they would leave me alone. a sad day, very sad day.

ColbyPants said...

yep I almost got carried away by seagulls when eating french fries outside a McDonalds when I was ten.

And No lie, I was a clamshack in Seabrook NH last summer with my Borther in Law, and he stopped eating to make a point and the seagull pulled the scallop right out of his hand!

Evil Evil birds.


Anonymous said...

People are so easily misled by pest control propaganda.

You're a fucking idiot.

Princesse Ecossaise said...

You think what you think, anonymous, and I shall know what I know :-)